Emily Matsui
As an Japanese-American artist, the consideration of where my place in the world has always been one of importance. Being half white and half asian has always had a feeling of not feeling like belonging, feeling not asian enough but not white enough. Art has always been an important way of expressing emotions to me, and specific focuses of connecting a childhood of growing up hapa, understanding my asian heritage and how that connects to my life living in America, and how that’s shaped who I am now.
“Sticky Business”
An oil painting about hyperfixations, interests and my personal identity and how what I’m interested in at the time can consume my life and what I am. There’s always a question of what there is in store for me, what I am interested in now, and how long those feelings and wants will stick around for.
Oil on canvas
30” x 40”
“Destined”
The feeling of needing to do something great, to leave a legacy and a name behind for yourself, but through a feeling of knowing that the feeling isn’t always permanent, almost like an impulse of feeling like you aren’t enough and you need to prove that now. Connecting this feeling with my identity and making a name for myself was what I wanted this painting to convey.
Oil on canvas
18” x 24”
Mental health struggles have always been prevalent in my life, as I started medicating and working on trying to feel better inside of my own mind. Of course, as I am forgetful, there are days where I forget to take my medicine and the thoughts of wondering about if how my brain functions is going to be permanent, if there will be a future where the better days are every day, and how my life is going to change as I grow up.
Acrylic, paint pens, colored pencils and glitter
14” x 14”
“I keep forgetting to take my meds”
The Game of Life
Being the first of two to leave the family and go to college, leaving home right after the pandemic was a really hard change for me. Unmedicated mental health issues, a lack of in person communication prior to my college life, and a feeling of disconnect from my family were main topics in this painting revisiting my struggles that I felt both three years ago as a freshman, and how I still struggle with that disconnection now and wondering how that family dynamic will continue to change.
Oil on canvas
16” x 20”
“I should give up and become a welder”
Depicting a struggle of career uncertainness, this painting is about how it feels to be an upcoming graduate of undergrad, and not knowing what path to take or how to get there. It feels like there is so much in the world I want to achieve, yet it all feels unachievable. The only feasible option feels like becoming a welder in a world of overthinking and confusion.
Acrylic, paint pens, glitter
16” x 20”
